If a computer AI was fed a few parameters like genre and actors, and asked to compose a feature film using some existing movie footage as the input data, the end result would be pretty close to Burglar: Somehow familiar and recognisable as an actual movie, but somehow eerily off in a weird way you couldn’t never really put your finger on it.

What we have here is a collection of characters that all seem somehow lost or out of place in the movie. There’s G.W. Bailey and Bobcat Goldthwait on a lease from the Police Academy series, both still in character, Lesley Ann Warren straight out of the Clue mansion, John Goodman rocking a fake moustache and of course Whoopi Goldberg who seems the most distracted waving the guns around, making a public scene to distract the guards like a female version of Eddie Murphy and delivering snappy one-liners like ’I gotta stop doing this shit’.

Burglar is a case of typecasting the actors and then violently hammering them into molds that don’t allow the actors neither to do their thing nor to show any versatility. It’s a strong cast with many thespians that could’ve fully supported a movie of their own, all of them wasted with this mediocrity.

What a pity.

80s-o-meter: 88%

Total: 52%