Kategoria: 1989

#1926 Bail Out aka W.B. Blue aka Bean (1989)

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Bail Out (1989) is a direct-to-video action-comedy that showcases David Hasselhoff in a role reminiscent of his iconic Michael Knight persona, albeit with a slightly edgier twist. The film follows three Los Angeles bounty hunters tasked with protecting heiress Annette “Nettie” Ridgeway (Linda Blair) after her ex-boyfriend, linked to a drug cartel, is murdered. When Nettie is abducted and taken to the cartel’s Mexican hideout, the trio embarks on a mission to rescue her before she can testify against her ex’s killers.

Directed by renowned stunt coordinator Max Kleven, the film delivers a series of action sequences that, while entertaining, often border on the absurd. Hasselhoff’s performance is marked by his signature smirk and charm, though it doesn’t deviate much from his established screen persona. Linda Blair’s portrayal is serviceable, but it doesn’t really stand out as a highlight in her career. The film’s made-for-TV aesthetic is evident, with minimal effort invested in character development or plot depth.

Despite its shortcomings, Bail Out offers a certain cheesy charm that may appeal to fans of late ‘80s action comedies. The film doesn’t take itself too seriously, embracing its role as a generic, entertaining romp. For viewers seeking a nostalgic trip into the realm of forgotten, campy cinema, this movie provides a lighthearted and amusing experience.

80s-o-meter: 95%

Total: 60%

#1923 Fear, Anxiety & Depression (1989)

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A curly haired, nerdy and nervous jewish boy who is a failing playwright in New York, pushing off women who cling onto him, while clinging on to women way above his league in a socially conscious drama comedy with snappy writing and quirky characters, written, directed and starred by the one and same person.

It’s easy to draw parallels between Fear, Anxiety & Depression and the works of Woody Allen. But where Allen was had already gotten into more mature themes towards the late 80s, Todd Solondz movie and it’s humour is a bit more anarchistic, featuring punk rockers and a bit of the NY alternative scene as well.

I found Fear, Anxiety & Depression very entertaining and its quirky humour and characters worked for me well. It is also a movie that marks the last lead role for Solondz, which is a shame since he performs well both in the front of the camera, as well as behind it.

80s-o-meter: 75%

Total: 81%

#1922 Flesh Eaters from Outer Space (1989)

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After seeing a few dozen of these straight to video scifi monster comedies, here’s my advice to any aspiring film maker out there wishing to do the same: find an original angle, or go beautifully overboard with at least some aspect of the movie, be it wild plot twists, humour, gory effects or some similar out of the box thinking.

Or, you will end up like Flesh Eaters from Outer Space: a movie that nobody knows, nobody likes and nobody cares about.

The movie is a repetitive mess that fails to press any of the right buttons. It’s not interesting, not funny, and not scary. New people are introduced not to make the movie more interesting, but to repeat one more killing scene already seen multiple times before.

80s-o-meter: 31%

Total: 3%

#1920 Cleo/Leo (1989)

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Knowing that Cleo/Leo is a movie put together by a team mostly known of their work in the Adult movies, that I always assumed painfully bad – and so it has waited for a good moment on the shelf for me to finally have the courage to press play.

And sure enough, the movie starts as expected as what feels your typical low budget sex rump of the era, with a pig of a man suddenly turning into a woman and then continuing to act as if she was still a man as the only source from which the movie could draw its comedy. But going forward the movie takes actually quite daring moves with Leo exploring some newly found feminine sides of her world and thinking, finally extending all the way to relationships.

It is these aspects of the movie that actually make it stand out and make it somewhat interesting approach to the often worn out man-turned-woman antics and Veronica Hart in the lead role quite successfully driving the movie forward with her performance.

80s-o-meter: 85%

Total: 67%

#1918 Beverly Hills Vamp (1989)

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First starring in Grease back in late 70s, Eddie Deezen found a great niche for himself, portraying a socially awkward, nasal-voiced geek that felt like it had dropped right out of out of comic book, and soon became the quintessential nerd character of the 80s. Partly an act, partly his own eccentric self, the character is one of the best comedic reliefs of the era that I never grew tired of.

As a side character, that is.

In Beverly Hills Vamp Deezen gets to lead the whole show, pretty much single-handedly carrying the whole quite movie to the finish line. But, the movie could have used a stronger lead to side with Eddie for his comedy to really work. But then again it could have used many other things; this is fluffy, late 80s direct to video flick at it’s worst or best, simply designed to showcase a few silly laughs as well as a roster of naked breasts. Those who know what they are subscribing to will be able to enjoy the movie accordingly. Those who don’t might want to steer away.

80s-o-meter: 85%

Total: 58%

#1914 Penn & Teller Get Killed (1989)

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In the early 90s someone in the Finnish National Broadcasting company had the good taste to get the Penn & Teller special Don’t Try This at Home to the programming. It was completely new, something fresh, daring and funny. And I was hooked, becoming an instant fan.

So yes, of course I’ve seen Penn & Teller Get Killed. But for some reason I always thought it as an early 90s release.

Written by the Penn & Teller themselves, the movie looks very much like them. There are tricks, pranks, revealing hoaxes, something of a plot and lots of black humour. In fact, the whole premise of the movie is based on the black humour as Penn jokingly states in national television how he wished someone was trying to kill them – something that soon becomes a self granting wish.

The movie might have been better if given to hands of a professional writer, but would not likely have reflected the duo as well as this one. Same goes for the melodramatic ending, filled with that pitch dark dark humour we’ve come to expect from these two magicians.

80s-o-meter: 91%

Total: 80%

#1911 Grave Secrets aka Secret Screams (1989)

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In the era where far too many slashers were made, Grave Secrets is already winning for being a good old possessed spirit horror movie.

It’s a movie that does nothing exceptionally well – but nothing that badly neither. It’s biggest problem is with the writing, with nothing too much of interest and of suspense taking place until the last act. It’s this ending where the movie finally wakes up a little, consequently waking the viewer also.

As much as I dig Paul Le Mat, he seems to be sleepwalking through the movie, and I couldn’t have but thunk that perhaps another choice for a lead would have kept the attention up for a longer.

80s-o-meter: 87%

Total: 62%

#1909 Enemies, A Love Story (1989)

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Enemies, A Love Story is a rollercoaster of emotions in the life of Herman (Ron Silver), a holocaust survivor in the 1949 New York.

You see, Herman has tangled himself between women. And to make things worse, the third woman from the past is just around ther corner.

Silver does well in the role, portraying the low-key Herman with tons of mixed emotions storming below his calm facade. He never sells the character as heroic or likeable, but manages to make him relatable enough so that the audience finds themselves rooting for him, despite his morally questionable choices and actions.

80s-o-meter: 3%

Total: 67%

#1908 Criminal Act aka Tunnels (1989)

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Criminal Act – or Tunnels, as it’s much more apt name for it – promises a horror story inside old, long forgotten tunnels crossing under a newspaper, whose two female reporters go out wandering around there, just for the heck of it.

So it’s a bit far fetched to begin with, but what follows requires even more overlooking the probable. The movie turns into bit of a cartoon for adults, with film’s baddies sketched with heavy strokes of caricature making it even harder for one to buy the plot. It’s like watching a comedy without the humour part.

Horror is promised on the movie cover, but that’s an element that is not be found here.

80s-o-meter: 85%

Total: 22%

#1907 Lobster Man from Mars (1989)

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A spoof of 1950s monster scifi movies, Lobster Man from Mars was to my surprise a positive little comedy.

The movie successfully picks a few archetypes of the genre and parodises them with either expected or unexpected twist so almost everything you’d expect to find in the movie is there. The amateurish look and feel naturally goes with the picture, and the movie is often much more cheap and TV-series like than it needs to be to convey the message, but for once this did not take too much away from the overall experience.

80s-o-meter: 12%

Total: 70%

#1904 Deadly Embrace (1989)

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A soft porn movie disguised as erotic thriller mostly likely to just make it to the rental VHS space outside the adult corner, Deadly Embrace is a totally brain dead movie shot probably over just a few days.

Most of the running time is spend on endless dreamy erotic sequences and lingering stares.

If anything, the movie remains a testament to Jan-Michael Vincent’s at the time downhill spiralling life and career, of which Deadly Embrace is just another example of bad choices that were made.

80s-o-meter: 81%

Total: 1%

#1901 Brenda Starr (1989)

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I should have loved Brenda Starr a lot more: a fantasy adventure based on a comic strip taking place in distant, exotic places. But I didn’t.

Reason is, the movie makes a bad case of telling its story, all the way from the comic book artist getting sucked into the world of comics he created, as well as most of the events that follow. There’s baddies and chases and piranhas and all that but nothing that really grasps the viewer. There are a few funny moments of poking fun of the artificial cartoon world, so maybe they should’ve doubled down on this in the first place. To my understanding Brenda Starr not also not a known figure in Europe and is definitely not one in 2024, so this might have hindered my experience also.

Visually the movie is just about perfect, and grasps the sense of adventure well, and the period picture like South American scenes took me back to adventure games like Flight of the Amazon Queen. Brooke Shields and her clothing and mannerisms and stunning dreamy looks fit the role perfectly.

80s-o-meter: 3%

Total: 42%

#1899 Cage (1989)

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The Vietnam war hero Billy (Lou Ferrigno) gets shot in head, and survives with severe brain damage, reducing him to a child like state. Taken care by his friend Scott (Reb Brown) they open a bar together, but quickly get drawn into the world of illegal cage fights where they are forced to compete – or face death.

Before the introduction of UFC, Cage fights had notorious clang to them during the 80s known by name by every boy and man, and the movie successfully taps into this world, plus the crime related to it. Ferrigno himself is the strongest (literally) part of the movie, as well as weakest, not quite having the acting chops to portray the mentally disabled role in a believable fashion. But he gets the job done, no problem there.

The movie itself as as stylish as they came in 1989. The camerawork and cinematography is solid, and the movie is generally entertaining and thrilling to watch.

80s-o-meter: 85%

Total: 80%

#1897 What’s Up, Hideous Sun Demon aka Revenge of the Sun Demon (1989)

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What’s Up, Hideous Sun Demon is a 1989 redubbed spoof of the 1958 horror/scifi B-movie Hideous Sun Demon. The idea to even produce something like this and then sell it is downright ridiculous, and something you could barely pass in Youtube these days, but surprisingly What’s Up, Hideous Sun Demon does has its moments, and some of the lines are actually quite funny.

And some are not.

Despite the stupidity the movie was easy to watch through, and whet my appetite to see the original one in an unspoiled form some time in the future.

80s-o-meter: 3%

Total: 31%

#1896 New York Stories (1989)

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An anthology film, New York Stories weaves together three distinct tales taking part in New York. The movie begins with Martin Scorsese’s Life Lessons where Nick Nolte portrays a painter balancing between his love interest, and upcoming art exhibition. Next up, Francis Ford Coppola takes us into a whimsical world with Life Without Zoë co-written with his daughter Sofia Coppola, depicting a rich kid living independent live of her own while her family is travelling and working, and getting caught up in a story of Arab Princesses and lost jewelries. Lastly, Woody Allen finishes with Oedipus Wrecks, a quirky story of a middle age man being tormented by his possessive and overbearing mother.

Anthology films with different creative force behind each segment are harder to rate. I was the most happiest with seeing Nick Nolte portraying such a different role (and succeeding in it with flying colors), with Life Without Zoë seemingly written for completely different audience and age group.

Finally, Oedipus Wrecks has an interesting setup, but relies on a gag that was funny at first, but both grows old and takes disappointing dramatic turns that ultimately make it the weakest (or, single use) short story of the bunch.

80s-o-meter: 82%

Total: 65%

#1894 Nobody’s Perfect (1989)

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Ever since Chaplin and the dawn of the cinema men dressing as women has been an often visited theme to create comedic situations. This is where Nobody’s Perfect taps as well, this time with the motive of college freshman disguising himself as the opposite sex in order to be closer to his crush.

As imagined, nothing of much depth is to be found here, so it just all down to how entertaining the movie manages to be. And in the case of Nobody’s Perfect it actually fares quite well.

The story proceeds in a predictable path, but the whole experience is quite likeable, and definitely fits the bill if you’ve subscribed to having something easy to watch through and young Chad Lowe in the lead role does a perfectly passable job here.

80s-o-meter: 89%

Total: 72%

#1882 Staying Together (1989)

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In a small southern town a father of three brothers sells the family chicken restaurant, consequently triggering a chain of changes in the lives his sons.

Staying Together is built upon numerous conflicts, of which few feel relatable and many less so. This also goes with many of the intentions either the writer or the director had for the story or the main characters; Staying Together is a movie busy being dramatic, but more often than not that drama fails strike the right chord with the viewer.

Between the brothers the movie does have its moments – but much of the sentiment, feeling and intentions that might have been there in the storyboard quite unfortunately remain unfulfilled and unmet.

80s-o-meter: 50%

Total: 48%

#1881 Teen Vamp (1989)

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An unpopular nerd turns into a cool cat leather-jacketed vampire after getting bit by a vampire prostitute in a shoelace budgeted horror comedy Teen Vamp.

This one’s is a feeble, amateurish attempt if I ever saw one. Some of the similar hobby horror movies manage to turn the underdog setting to their advantage either by being over the top in either the concept or the gore, but Teen Vamp remains amazingly tame until the very end.

Teen Vamp is one of those amateur movies where I bet the the team enjoyed shooting it more than the viewers enjoy watching it.

80s-o-meter: 60%

Total: 17%

#1880 Beverly Hills Brats (1989)

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Right off the bat: is Beverly Hills Brats a good movie?

Well, it could be if you are 6-9 years old, but for myself I cannot really say. The movie is rated as PG-13 most likely due to some foul language, but really feels like targeted to kids. It is kind of a shame since the necessarily building blocks for a satire of filthy rich Beverly Hills family seems to be present, but put together in a very dull and predictable way. Again, as the movie was made for infants in mind.

Martin Sheen as the cosmetic surgeon does his best to keep the movie alive, while Peter Billingsley performs his trademark role straight out of Christmas Story. Probably the funniest side of the movie is seeing totally indifferent Burt Young sleepwalk through the entire movie.

80s-o-meter: 90%

Total: 38%

#1879 Field of Dreams (1989)

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A sports movie for those of us who dislike sports movies, Field of Dreams is a fairytale for both adults and kids alike.

No doubt about it; the story itself is totally unbelievable. But like the lead character played by Kevin Costner we find ourselves really wanting to believe in the same silly dream. This is in no way an easy feat from the director Phil Alden Robinson to pull through and the bold gamble put into this movie could have backfired in a horrible way.

Simply put: I loved Field of Dreams, and I especially loved the way way still found it in me to believe in such magic.

80s-o-meter: 65%

Total: 90%