Everyone likes a good horror anthology so I did not initially mind firing up Night Train to Terror. The movie’s setup and premise is an interesting one: God and Satan are on board of a train on its way to eventual destruction, having a conversation and sharing stories. Also on the board is some sort of pop band, whose dull performances we are subjected to watch throughout the movie – the first shortcoming of the movie in the long list of forthcoming faux-pas.

Instead of being a real horror anthology the movie presents us with three full length movies – some previously unreleased – cut down to short story form. Although many of the horror movies I’ve seen to date would’ve worked much better in a shorter form before turning repetitive, here the end result is just odd, with the plot becoming really hard to follow. To overcome this the director had to resort to dubbing in a narrative voice, which is always something of a panic design choice.

Out of the three segments the first one is totally unwatchable mess, second one has an interesting premise of something of a suicide club, but tries to cram in far too much content into its short running time. The final part is the least outrageous, but also seems to be the best movie of the bunch and is cut in a way that still seems to make sense.

The main effort in the cutting room has seemed to gone into including all the gory special effects – and admittedly they are the best aspect of this uneven mess of a movie.

80s-o-meter: 80%

Total: 38%